Consider yourself warned.

You didn't know it had been published, did you?

My dentist gave me this awesome pamphlet, which is second in hilarity only to my booklet about gynecological surgery. Unfortunately, my dentist gave me this awesome pamphlet because he cracked my molar one freaking year ago and has just gotten around to diagnosing it. I'm not laughing. (Dear all of the people to whom I've recommended my fantastic dentist: this is a new dentist. Tear up that recommendation.)

You know how they fix a cracked tooth?

They don't. They grind it off and attach a crown.

Like I said, not laughing. Thinking about violating the integrity of someone else's dental enamel. Do you think I should hand over the pamphlet first, or just start cracking?

spit & polish

I'm not terribly amused when people make jokes about me being obsessive/compulsive -- I don't think I'm particularly extreme, and I prefer to think of it as detail-oriented, with esoteric interests -- but I did just dye & polish the entire cast's combat boots. And the managing director's boots. And the stage manager's clogs.

I just used up an entire bottle* of Lincoln Leather Dressing.

*Even worse, I thought, "Oh, that's OK, I didn't use up my good stuff."

uphill/downhill

Last night I dreamed that each bus stop on my route had a dedicated internet message board. I kept up-to-date on the Bellevue & Denny board, but frequently checked the one for 13th & John because its members were wittier and more articulate.

I'm not usually this kind of girl

Ok, I know how this looks, and I'm sorry. I've never been one of those people who's just ga-ga over babies, so I'm as surprised as you are by the apparently inexorable aww-factor of this sort of thing. (It gets you when you least expect it.)

Good thing there's a website I can turn to when the illicit craving hits...

inner space

This is a picture of my left eye.

The pattern on the right side of the image is called a starburst, and I don't have one in my right eye. (It's not a photographic blemish; it showed up last year, too, along with the wispy clouds around the iris. Neither affects my vision.) My opthamologist is curious to see whether similar patterns are visible in photos of my siblings' eyes.

Is it weird that I think it's pretty?